June 1, 2004

Dear Archbishop O'Malley:

When I went to the Archdiocese website last Wednesday and found that Sacred Heart parish in Lexington would be among those closing, my reaction was a deep sadness and a feeling of betrayal. I began to pray and ask God how this was best for our community. What came in to my memory was the way I felt many, many years ago when a priest told me that I should remain in an abusive marriage, because it was God's will. I didn't believe that then and I am struggling now to believe that closing Sacred Heart is God's will. Sacred Heart is such a vibrant community of caring people who support each other in so many ways.

My faith journey brought me to Sacred Heart. I originally came to the Boston area after a painful divorce, with my son, an adopted Native American, who was 7 years old. I was going back to school and my brother was living in the area. He was a great help to me and we found the Paulist Center community in Boston as a place of worship. It was a place of diversity, where my son was welcomed and accepted. A few years later, my brother went to become a Trappist monk and our little family moved to Lexington. For a while, we continued to attend the Paulist Center, but as my son grew up and tried to find his own way in life, I began going to mass at Sacred Heart. In the beginning, it was a place of worship closer to home, with a focus on social justice and ministries which helped many of the same causes I had supported over many years -- Fran Ludwig supporting the Lakota Sioux at Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota, the Christmas gifts in support of children of women prisoners, our sister parishes. Since my son was a Lakota Sioux and had been from Pine Ridge, I had a feeling that God had brought me to Sacred Heart for a reason.

In 1996, I became aware of that reason. My life was suddenly changed, when my son's girlfriend gave birth to twin daughters, born prematurely one evening in June. What should have been a time of great joy became a great challenge, because it was clear that the birth parents could not care for these tiny little girls, under four pounds each, both requiring special attention for a while. One of them also failed the hearing test at the hospital. Early the next morning I went to Sacred Heart before mass and prayed for guidance. My thoughts were a jumble of questions -- how could I possibly take on such a demanding role as a single "mom" again -- I had a demanding job and was very independent; I had planned to travel in my later years; my friends all had grown up children; my parents were aging; my family lived in other states 6 hours away. As I prayed, I simply put all my fears in the hands of God and asked that if this were His will, I needed lots of help. By the end of Mass, I felt a calm and knew that I must do whatever was necessary to get custody of these little angels and give them as normal a life as possible. So I began -- talking with state officials, finding a lawyer who would help me, preparing a petition for custody; and soon things began falling into place. Custody was granted to me and when they were released from the hospital 10 days after birth, two tiny infants came home with me. I had nothing for babies and had to quickly learn how to get twin infants on a schedule for feeding, sleeping, bathing, etc.; where to buy baby clothes for preemies; how to get their special formula, etc. For the first few months of summer, a family member came to stay and help out, so I could at least go to work. For, more than ever, I needed to continue having a source of income. By September, when she went home, they were at least on a schedule but still waking up every four hours for feeding. There was no help from the birth parents, and I had to hire nannies who could handle twins with special needs.

As can be imagined, I desperately needed spiritual support to help me get through this very difficult period. When the girls were three months old, I began going to Sacred Heart again, at the 11:30 mass. I carried two little car seats, one on each arm and sat near the back in case I had to leave early. Previously, I had been just a participant at Mass and while I had made some acquaintances, you could say I had been somewhat aloof. But, with two little ones, some people saw my struggle and soon, people began helping me in little ways -- watching them while I went up to Communion, giving me kind words of support. We were accepted as a little family. Over the years, many people have become good friends, others have helped me in many ways or just with kind words of encouragement and support. A few years ago, I wanted to help more in the community, so I joined the bread bakers, since this was something I could do at home and have little girls help out.

These little girls are now almost eight years old, happy and well adjusted. They just made their First Communions together at Sacred Heart this month. Once again, many people from Sacred Heart helped -- one of them, who is deaf and primarily communicates with ASL, received instruction on Sunday mornings through the deaf apostolate at St. John's in Brighton. So, on my way to Brighton, I dropped her twin at the home of friends from church, who then took her to Sacred Heart with them for her religious education classes. We then all met up again at Mass at Sacred Heart. If the friends couldn't stay, her instructor would have her join his family until I arrived at Mass. First Communion was very special -- the priest from the deaf community came and signed during the mass so the deaf twin could participate more fully.

My personal story has become intertwined with the people of Sacred Heart with whom we've shared so much -- dinners at church; food & fellowship on the porch of the rectory after mass in the summer; the welcome acceptance of the community for a little girl who communicates differently; many liturgies through all of the seasons; our prayer groups; and support for our little family. Children learn their faith from home and from others in their faith community who help guide them. At Sacred Heart, these two little girls have seen that children are welcomed and accepted, even those who are different; that they can learn to become readers, to ring the bells, to carry the bread & wine and to grow in their faith as they learn.

My fervent prayer is that the decision will be reconsidered and that Sacred Heart can remain as the vibrant parish it is. We all have our reasons for choosing Sacred Heart, but the most compelling one seems to be a shared commitment to our joint faith journeys. To rip apart that commitment seems a tragedy.